My views on the Mormon religion by Jayih

I was Baptized into the Mormon religion when I was 8 years old. That event occurred at the Ogden, Utah 42 Word church. I was latter ordained a Deacon. I can't recall if I was ordained a Teacher or Priest. an even I do recall that caused me to leave the church never to return:

I had been working towards a duty to god award all one winter memorizing scriptures and such. when it came time to give the award. I was sitting near the pulpit along with many neighbor kids my age. There names were, Gary Bingham, Scott Reed, Randy Moore, David Moore. all were called to get there awards but me. I had thought that day I would get one but they left me sitting there.

After the meeting I or my parents were told I did not get the award because I had gone fishing with my father on Sunday all summer.

Dad was a fisherman. He fished many rivers around Cache Valley. The Blacksmith Fork river and the Logan River. We also went up to Star Valley Wyoming in June and maybe again in the fall. Dad liked to fish Cottonwood Canyon near Smoot Wyoming and the Snake River above Alpine Wyoming.

The Mormons were always telling dad he should be in church on Sunday and dad was always telling the Mormons he felt closer to god fish those river that he did in church.

The church held father and son outings on Saturdays and scolded dad for not spending time with his son at those events. Dad had Sunday and Monday off and Saturday at his barber shop was his biggest day money wise.

The church was making it impossible for our family to conform to there dictates. for myself there was no choice to make when it came to going fishing with my pa or going to church. So after the Mormons had left me sitting on the pulpit that Sunday. I was crying and terribly hurt. Dad and mom told me that day that if I did not want to go to church again I did not have to and I never went back. I have always felt on one had the brethren of the church had no choice not to give me the duty to god award because my attendance was down. However they sat me there and made me an example in front of the other boys, my friends. I think our of love and carrying they could have sparred me, the young LDS boy, the grief and humility of that morning by telling me I would not receive an awards. But they deceived me, letting me think I was to receive it right up until the last boy in the row was called. I really had no choice but to continue to go on fishing trips with my pa right up until a week before his death. For that I have no regrets.

I am very proud of my Mormon ancestors that came to Utah with Brigham Young. I believe it was a much different church at that time. The Mormon pioneer settlers worked together and helped one another. My Mormon neighbors on Chester street where I grew up were a divided bunch of people. Dad was a barber and he complained that in 23 years there was not one member of our ward patronize his barber shop.

I now find another conflict with me and the LDS church. I have explored the knowledge of science. I believe in evolution. I believe life on earth started in the oceans, nucleic acid, lava flows? Not certain yet exactly how for science is uncertain. To explore scientific fact immediately transports one from the LDS religion. To be LDS you must follow there old books and deviate from them none. One is not allowed to go exploring modern science of how life began, how the universe was formed and how our galaxy is but one of many in the ever expanding Universe. Now my wife is a physicist and tells me many of her colleges do maintain a religious belief in god. I also feel that for life to be as incredible as it is it must have been created by god. However when I think about the billions of years evolution had to create life as we know it today. It could have all just happened and when we die it might just be we go back to a form of a chemical or another from which we came.

I am a nature worshipper. Science is the study of all things in nature and the two go hand in hand nicely. It is my belief that nature will take care of me and I need not understand its many secrets completely for it to do so. I choose to worship Jay religion and stay as close to nature as I can get. Protect and serve Nature anyway I can. every thing for life and a natural order is good and anything against life is wrong. Steeling and lying are against Jay religion along with adultery and murder.

I sat quietly in nature by a river surrounded by plants and trees and ask for a revelation. The revelation came saying. "This is heaven and I am god". It seemed to me I had been searching to hard for God. Heaven is now and god is all around.

There is just to much science out there nowdays for me to get stuck with these old beliefs.